


like the real thing (my fake plastic love)

by 5-5-k (Vsquaredk)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Lena Luthor Doesn't Know Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lesbian Lena Luthor, No Kara Danvers/Mon-El, Oblivious Kara Danvers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:55:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29189661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vsquaredk/pseuds/5-5-k
Summary: In which Lena has no idea how she keeps getting dragged into these types of shenanigans,Mon-El won't leave Kara alone,And Kara is just fully, wholly, oblivious to everything but how much she wants Mon-El to just... leave her alone.===Or a take on the Fake Dating trope.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 12
Kudos: 294





	like the real thing (my fake plastic love)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Emilia_Rowan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilia_Rowan/gifts).



> _Prompt by[@Emilia_Rowan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilia_Rowan/pseuds/Emilia_Rowan)_: “Season 2, but instead of Kara liking Mon-El she’s super annoyed by him and wants him to stop pursuing her, so she asks Lena to fake date her even though they’ve just met.”
> 
> Shout out to [MsSirEy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsSirEy/pseuds/MsSirEy) and [Apples](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Applesaday/pseuds/Applesaday) for reading through my silly shenanigans.
> 
> Deviated _slightly_ from the prompt... technically this first part occurs in Season 5, but the scenes referenced occur concurrently with Season 2 events, so... It's a loophole, and I'm taking it.

“I knew there’d been a breach, but I thought we’d caught everything. Thank you Kara.”

Lena’s gaze drops to the USB in her hand, the one that probably holds the increasingly desperate, highly personal, emails from Jack asking her to reconsider, asking her to come back to Metropolis.

 _The closet is even more suffocating than I remember,_ he’d said. _For longer than I care to remember, you’ve been the only one able to bring the visible spectrum to my monochromatic existence… But now you’re there. And I’m here. And maybe misery really does love company, because what I wouldn’t give for you to be here or me to be there. At least, when you and I were together, I could forget that I was drowning._

Lena’s grip on the USB tightens as she tries to grapple with the fact that there may be additional copies of Jack’s email being read by… well, someone with a critical-enough eye. And while she doesn’t care who knows, Jack’s parents finding out when he’s forcibly outed, in a _gossip magazine_ of all things, would ruin the already fraught relationship between the Spheers.

Kara Danvers to the rescue... Again, it seems. Lena smiles slightly as she wonders if this back and forth that she and the reporter keep having is going to become a _thing_ between the two of them. She wouldn’t mind if it did.

“You know how you can thank me?”

Lena’s green eyes snap up to Kara, who almost looks like she’s wincing.

※⁜※

Not even two weeks later, Kara’s leaning on the bar at Noonan’s, eyes searching in hopes of seeing Alex show up, when she hears the faint voice of a certain Daxamite.

“Oh! Kara! I found you!”

_Oh shoot. Not again._

Judging from his volume, he’s a ways away, but this has happened before. Kara will go out to meet a friend, or her sister, or even as a reporter, and he’ll find her and just _decide_ that he should tag along. He’s trying to woo her, he says, but Kara’s not interested. Like, at all. At least this time she has some forewarning…

His voice gets minutely louder as he gushes excitedly about joining her.

“No! Mon-El, don’t come here!”

She tries to hide her hissed whisper in a cough, aware of the way her words might draw the eyes of some of her fellow restaurant patrons. Instead, all it does is draw glares, and the effusive worry of the manchild from her neighbouring planet.

_Rao, that backfired. Think fast, Kara._

At the rate Mon-El’s volume is increasing as he prattles on about keeping her from harm, Kara estimates that there’s about a 30 second window between when he rounds the corner of whichever block he’s on, and him being able to actually see clearly into the restaurant.

And that’s only if he doesn’t suddenly decide to fly.

Which means that Kara has to, very suddenly, leave the restaurant, which is not ideal, because the chef here makes the _best_ ceviche in National City (“The secret,” the Talaxian chef had once told her with a wink, “is the Nimian sea salt.”) and at the speed she’d be leaving, she’d never be able to come back. Or, she has to find a solution to her clingy Daxamite nuisance.

That’s when she spies Lena, and her thoughts start to race faster than she flies as she takes in the situation.

Firstly, Lena is, like, 3 steps away.

Secondly, judging by her laptop on the table, the seat still tucked under the table across from her, and the table’s _single_ place setting, she’s alone.

Lastly, (and, potentially, most importantly), Lena has a barely-touched endive garden salad and the full steamer of the Morracan spiced lamb dumplings that are still steaming in front of her... She’s only just gotten her food.

“I’ll save you, Kara!”

Kara looks out the window with slightly narrowed eyes, and spies Mon-El careening around a building barely half a mile away.

_Oh… heck! 20 seconds..._

Kara’s fingers superspeed a text out to Alex to _Abort Mission, Mayday Mayday Mon-El Found Me Save Urself_ as she leans over to catch Lena’s attention.

“Lena!” The woman in question looks up, and Kara widens her eyes almost comically, “Hi!”

“Kara! Hi!” Lena’s face breaks out into an eager smile. “It’s really good to see you!”

Kara nods, distracted by the fact that she can literally hear Mon-El’s footsteps getting closer. She has, maybe, 15 seconds to see this through. “Are you waiting for someone?” She gives Lena her most awkward smile as her eyes widen in a silent plea for assistance.

Lena misses it entirely, eyes still half on her computer. “Oh, not today… I’ve got a hot date with some spreadsheets.”

Kara’s awkward smile creaks slightly as it widens across her face. Out of the corner of her eye, a nearby patron screws his face up, disconcerted by her expression. _10 seconds. Please Lena._ “Ohhhhh…”

_Blessed Rao, please..._

Lena finally looks up to make eye contact with her, and her brow immediately furrows in confusion when she sees the fear in Kara’s blue eyes. “Kara… is everything okay?”

_7 seconds._

Kara merely inclines her head slightly and tries not to blurt anything out in desperation.

_5..._

“Actually...”

_4…_

Lena lips flutter upwards slightly, her eyes narrowing thoughtfully as she cocks her head slightly to the side, perplexed. “Why don’t you join me, Kara?”

_3..._

“I’d. Love. To.” Kara grins toothily, eyes still unnaturally wide. Slightly too quickly, Kara scrabbles into the seat across from Lena as the other woman puts away her laptop. “Thank. You. Lena.” The chair groans at the force of her movement, and Kara holds back a flinch.

_2..._

Kara folds her hands awkwardly in front of her on the table as a waiter suddenly materializes beside her with a glass of water and a place setting.

_1..._

“Of course! What are friends for?” Lena’s smile is soft and her eyes are sparkling with a mix of mirth and worry. Kara doesn’t have time to really figure out what’s happening with her heart at the sight of all that, because—

_We have contact._

Kara’s shoulders unconsciously rise in discomfort as Mon-El crashes loudly into the restaurant from somewhere behind her.

Astute as ever, Lena’s eyes narrow even further at the sight of the audacious Daxamite over Kara’s shoulder. A single brow shoots up as she leans forward, beckoning Kara to do the same, so that she can speak in hushed tones. “That’s him, isn’t it?”

Behind her, the hostess is trying to ask Mon-El how big his party is, but he merely dismisses her. Kara very slightly dips her head in agreement, eyes still open wide enough for Lena to see the whites around her irises, mouth still pulled into the least comfortable fake smile of her life. For the first time in her life, she understands the idea of gooseflesh, her skin crawling as she can just about feel the Daxamite stalking closer.

Lena nods, and her soft, kind smile morphs into something _much_ more sultry, and _OH_. _This is… potentially not good._ Kara definitely didn’t think this plan through in the long run. At _all_.

“Karaaaaaa!!!” Mon-El lumbers over to the table, eyes bright and excited, and stops between the two women at the table, “I found you!” He lays his hand down heavily on Kara’s shoulder, who fails to disguise her wince. “I thought I lost you this morning, but then I found you!”

“Darling…” Lena reaches her right hand across the table to touch Kara’s stiff hands lightly, a polite yet borderline menacing look of apprehension on her face. “Who’s this?”

At Lena’s touch, a high pitched giggle slips free from Kara, higher than she’s ever heard it, and her voice comes out squeaky. Somehow, she resists the urge to slip her hands out from under Lena’s light touch, skin tingling almost uncomfortably where they connect. _What is happening?_ “This is—”

“I am Mon-El.” The Daxamite almost seems to inflate under Lena’s intense gaze, chest puffing up in a clumsy show of dominance. He thrusts his right hand out in what looks like an approximation of Earth’s handshake. Annoyance flashes in Lena’s eyes, but otherwise she seems completely unaffected.

Kara’s mouth is dry, the tension between the CEO and the Daxamite causing her entire being to seize up in anxiety. _Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?_ The way her breath is caught in her throat has her next words come out as a croak. “And this is Lena...”

“Kara’s girlfriend.”

The sounds of the already quiet restaurant seem to dull. Kara can’t tell if it’s because of the way the adrenaline is coursing through her veins or if it’s because every single person in the restaurant is watching. She can practically feel the stares from the other patrons, and she does everything she can to stop herself from shrinking even further into herself.

Mon-El’s hand continues to hover, empty and waiting reciprocity, as Lena pretends to pause in thought.

“Mon-El… Mon-El... Oh, hmm, right, yes. I think Kara mentioned you in passing once. Didn’t you, darling?” There’s a smile, then, one that could pass as demure if it reached Lena’s narrowed eyes (spoiler alert, it doesn’t).

Kara jerks her head quickly up and down when Lena’s eyes flit towards her, missing the way her gaze softens at Kara’s stiff posture. What she _doesn’t_ miss is the way Lena's thumb starts to move slowly across the top of her hand, a motion meant to comfort, as the dark haired woman looks back up at the Daxamite intrusion (spoiler alert, it doesn’t).

Lena lifts her left hand to Mon-El’s, and just… awkwardly, passively lets it sit in his firm, overly fervent grip. Her’s is a limp and dismissive greeting, and Mon-El seems almost put out by the absence of warring grips. "Charmed, I'm sure." Her tone, chilly and distant, sounds anything but.

Lena's right hand stays where it rests atop Kara’s on the table, and when Mon-El notices, he doesn't stop glaring.

_Rao, what have I done?_

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Radiohead's "Fake Plastic Trees"
> 
> I have some ideas of where this could go, so let me know if you like it and wanna see more!
> 
> As always, you can find me @v2k1k1 on [twitter](https://twitter.com/v2k1k1) or [instagram](https://instagram.com/v2k1k1) but I’m most active on [tumblr @5-5-k](https://5-5-k.tumblr.com)


End file.
